Highlight: Spaghetti Head

I remember all us kids were at home while our parents were away. We were eating spaghetti at the table when an argument of some sort broke out probably between me and my next youngest sister. Leisha started making fun of our fight, then before I knew it, she had taken a handful of spaghetti with spaghetti-sauce and spread it all over her head in a mock-frustration. At first I was just shocked, but then a laugh was let out and soon none of us could stop laughing. The argument was forgotten. Leisha has a funny since of humor and sometimes does crazy things, but I admire her sense of leadership, and respect how she can so easily lighten a mood and keep the peace. 

Thanks Giving

In my Geography class, we were talking about all the different ways people say the same thing across the states. For example, us normal people say "PILLo" for the word pillow while others might say "PELLo", weird right? Other examples are "CRAn" verses "CRAYon", or "milk" verses "melk".  It's not just the sounds of the words, sometimes people will emphasize different parts of a word too. Like "inSURance" verses "INsurance".

One that really struck me was the word "Thanksgiving". I naturally have always said it as "thanksGIVing", but another way to say it is "THANKSgiving". I'm not sure if it's just the new way of saying it or that "thanks" is more emphasized, but that other way of saying it really got me thinking about it's meaning. Give thanks. Thanks give. It's not just the title of the holiday. The word literally means express gratitude, show appreciation, acknowledge that we are indebted. 

Smile in Progress

Dentist, Check!! Well, half-check. I got all the cavities in the right side of my face all fixed! Just got some in the left side (which will be done tomorrow!), then those stinkin' wisdom teeth to pull. BUT I've got the appointment just about set up for that too.

Anyways t'was quite the adventure going to the dentist today. First of all, I woke up and it was snowing outside. It's snowed in Rexburg off and on for the past bit, but this morning it was really snowing. So I layered up, and eventually went off on my trek to the dentist. The walk wasn't bad, but I did wish I had some music or something to listen to on my way there. My i-pod's music stopped working (any ideas of how to fix it? The screens frozen when I click for music).

AT the dentist was just like any old dentist appointment, they called my name and I went right back to a chair that fully reclined. The lady let me put on the headphones and I watched "Soul Surfer" on the television that they had on the ceiling for me. They offered me "gas" but I turned that down because it was going to be an extra 33 dollar charge, but when I winced at the big needle they were going to put in my mouth and the tears started swelling, they told me the gas would help me stay calm and they wouldn't charge if I wanted to try it. I said okay, and they put this round orange tuby thing on my nose that's air had a sweet candy sort of smell. At first I didn't feel a difference, but then I started getting light-headed, like I was about ready to go to sleep. I really wanted to finish the movie, plus there was a ton of noise and things going on that I wanted to be sure to be conscious for, so I stayed awake.

After the whole thing, the right side of my face was dead-numb. I couldn't smile at all on that side, and trying to talk was quite the fete. I was so self-conscious of it, and I was glad that on the walk home I didn't pass to many people on the side-walk, plus I had a hood and the coat to sort of conceal my face. I didn't want people to look at my face and think "what's wrong with her face." One thing I think I often take for granted is my ability to smile at people. Even now I'm still stretching and smiling my face, just to be sure it really works again how it should. I'm so thankful for the muscles in my face and that they really do work.

Think about it

- A side note from my journal during my scripture study today, I was writing questions I have about various doctrines and principles of the gospel, which I may share later, once I've actually gotten the answers :) -

It's so frustrating to me when people give me curt answers these sorts of questions. Of course I know the answers, but if I don't ponder - really ponder - them, how will I know for myself? It's good to have answers, but I feel like sometimes it's so good to just know for my self that those answers are true. Sure, you can tell me the fourth root of thirty-six squared is equal to six, but how am I ever supposed to understand that without thinking through the process of it all? I've got to break it down in my head, take everything step by step, come to understand and know that each step is right. If I know the fourth root of something is equal to that same something to the one fourth power (just like the square root is equal to something to the one-half power), then that at least gives me something. I'm limited here because I don't know how to write these equations on a blog, but I could go step by step with this problem until I really had a hard core understanding of it. I feel like the best way for me to actually get something is to work through the process from start to finish on my own. Or even better, try to teach that process to someone else.

On the other hand, sometimes it is enough to know something like m is the slope of the line in y=mx+b. Okay, actually I really would prefer to know the why of that too. Just once I do know, I really feel okay with going forward and in the future just remembering that I do know why that concept works every single time.

Anyways, people with "'a = b' just because 'a = b'" sorts of answers are okay I guess, and I know I should tolerate, because maybe they've already figured out all the in between stuff for themselves. I just really admire those who question it though, "is A really equal to B? How can I be sure?" And then they go out and show why they are sure about it.

Missionary Age Change - Hilarious Reactions

Don't judge me too bad for my since of humor, but this is SO funny!

Hitler's Reaction to the new Mormon Missionary Age Change:

Nice People

There are SO many people who make a difference in my life. I could never list EVERY person that's touched my life, so here's just a few people that have done just that today.

Hilary - for waiting up for me before mission prep today, it made me feel so good to have a friend to go with!

Heidi - For preparing and discussing the lesson of "being kind". I really liked that phrase you had up on the board too, "Be kind whenever possible... it is always possible". It is so easy to criticize, but I'm going to focus on giving positive and sincere compliments to lots of people this week.

John - For your awesome enthusiasm in Mission Prep today. Thank you also for that message about focusing on Family History work. Totally reminded me to refocus myself onto working on my own family history and genealogy.

Those girls in my row at Sacrament meeting - For quietly asking us all to scoot over a chair just so there would be room for that other girl who was sitting alone. That was so nice!

The Sister at the Family History Lab - For empathizing with me when I slammed my finger in the door-jam, that hurt really bad. Thanks also for noticing my questions and directing me to who to talk to about them.

No More Stress

So you know that moment when you're trying to focus really hard on something.. and you just can't? Every whisper, conversation, cough and giggle, every freeze-blip in the song on my i-pod, doors opening and closing, cars driving by... all that builds and builds until I feel about ready to explode. What's most frustrating is that nobody in the moment is really at fault, I could easily be doing the exact same things as them. This feeling can come a lot - getting ready for school, studying scriptures, studying for an exam, taking an exam, struggling through a math problem, writing in my journal, updating my blog, trying to sleep. It's awful, and I don't usually let out that I am frustrated inside, but really, it's so frustrating when I just can't focus on the task at hand.

Okay, but I learned a really neat trick for getting over the stress I feel so often when I'm trying to finish or accomplish something. When I feel like the project is getting the better hand of me, when I can't just can't focus. All I've got to do is take a break. I think sometimes I over-stress myself thinking I've got to finish this, I've got to get this done, now. But when I just take that breather - even just a minute or two - that's when I take the control. I have the choice to get back to the something I'm working on, and that something no longer has control over my frustrations.

In the testing center, I can close my test for a second, put down my pencil, and just forget about the test I'm taking. When I'm trying to sleep and I can't, I can get up and go do something for a minute. Anxiety and stress create a block for me, but when I'm able to relieve it, overcome it, I am much more capable of doing whatever it is that I was trying to get done.

Blog Change

So I've realized I've posted quite the bit now about what I believe, but I think I want to take this blog in a slightly different direction. I think from this point forward I'll share a little more about what's going on in my life. I'm very busy here at school keeping up with my job, homework, friends and all the adventures, but I'll try to post at least twice each week to keep this place at least slightly updated.

Are Mormon's Christian?

The World English Dictionary says that a Christian is "a person who believes in and follows Jesus Christ". And that is what I've always thought the definition of Christianity is. I've recently heard the argument that we are so different in our teachings of the doctrine that it is hard for some to see how we could fit under the "Christian Theology". But to state us as not Christian implies that we do not believe in Christ, that we do not follow his teachings. 

As a Latter Day Saint of the Church of Jesus Christ, I can say that I do believe in Jesus Christ, I know that he atoned for my sins, and that only by Him am I able to receive Eternal Life with my Father in Heaven. I try to live by Christ's example and follow His teachings, and I truly feel that I can call myself Christian. 

Listening

I speak words, that you don't hear.

I write thoughts, but you don't read them.

My heart aches to have you see

This way which I have found

But when my voice runs silent.

And the words I say are done.

That is when I realize

The ears plugged, the eyes shut tight.

Not yours, but mine.

Brothers

I really enjoyed the forum yesterday. These two friends, one an Evangelical Christian, the other a Latter Day Saint, spoke to us about the importance of respect and love for one another and our faiths. They said if you really want to know about a group of people, you need to talk to someone who is truly faithful to their religion, you’ve got to compare the best of your beliefs with the best of theirs. And you’ve got to leave room for holy envy – respect and admiration for particles of their faith.

One idea that really stuck out to me was that we all seem to have so much to say, yet we listen very little. It’s so easy to put aside another person and their beliefs; it is hard to listen, to learn and to really love the people we know. Every person around us, Jew or Gentile, is a child of God. God inspires all sorts of people to help build his Kingdom. If this is all true, wouldn't Heavenly Father be working through my Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Christian, Jewish, etc brothers and sisters?

Outer Space: Stretching the Mind

I wrote this up for my science class, but thought it might be applicable on here too. I went to a free showing of "Black Holes" at the planetarium as part of my class requirement and had some neat "aha" moments there. 

One thing that really stuck out to me near the end of the show was something that the narrator said. He said something like “If nothing else, the idea of black holes has helped human minds to really stretch more”. Right away that made me think," So if we knew everything about black holes and everyone got stuck in that way of thinking (even the thought being true), it wouldn't give much for our minds to stretch and ponder about it." In the same way, if we knew everything about our lives or everything about truth as it is (like really knew, without a doubt), it wouldn't give any room for our minds to stretch beyond to other possibilities. Maybe there is only one true possibility, but I think there really is something to being able to see outside of that, to think outside the box. If everything we know is spoon-fed to us, how could we ever learn for ourselves?

I'm so glad for faith and the growth our Heavenly Father allows us by not telling us everything. I bet it takes a lot of faith on God's part for me that I'll follow in his ways, even when I don't know everything. I hope that I can live up to the trust I know God has put in my life. I'm going to try anyways :) 

Dentist Appointment

So guess what? There are a LOT of places around here that have discounts for people filling out their Mission Papers. So after doing some research and making some phone calls, I found a place that would give me free x-rays, exams, and a quote for how much it might cost me to get all my wisdom teeth pulled and whatnot.

For those of you who don't know, Mission Papers are like application papers to be able to go on a mission. I need to get okay's from my Dentist and Doctor saying that I won't have any issues in this next year and a half or so of my life. So dentist appointment, check!

The time is NOT mine...

...It's the Lord's :)

As a college student, I'm asked to do a lot, and in my faith, I'm asked to do even more. As a college student, I'm supposed to finish all my homework, be engaged in my classes, study well for exams, check off my to-do lists, get enough sleep, have food in my cupboard to eat. According to the Lord, I've got to also serve the people around me, take time to study His word, go to church, fulfill my calling, pray, be grateful to people, make time for others, and so much more. It's easy for me to feel like I "just don't have enough time" to do all that, to feel overwhelmed with all that I've got to do, but really, when I put the Lord first, everything else seems to fall into place much better. 

A friend once told me to "pray about it", in order to find the time I need to accomplish everything. At first I honestly thought, “What a typical answer”, but if you think about it, that “typical” answer is so true! 

Okay, you can’t only pray for time and expect it to come with no effort; you've got to put your prayer into action too. But knowing that my day isn't really my own, but one the Lord has given me really helps me keep a good attitude of doing right with my day. With that mindset, I've been working on getting to sleep on time and setting goals and accomplishing them within my day, because I really do want to use the day I'm given for good. 


Early to bed, early to rise: There’s two benefits here; one – I get a solid 7 hours of sleep every night; I feel much better when I’m well rested verses when I’m running on nothing. And two – Having a good amount of time to prepare for my day in the morning really makes a difference. A good breakfast, a good mindset, and time to prepare well for the day, all make for a better start than my rushing and stressful mornings; I definitely want to make this a hard-core habit in my life now.  

Making Goals: It helps me a ton to write lists. In the morning I'll write a list of “goals for my day”, and then see how I did at the end of the day. Today, I want to memorize a scripture, eat good food, exercise, study my scriptures, spend good time with my roommates, find ways to help people around me, update my blog, finish my homework, go to the store, make enchiladas, and buy new headphones. :) I’ll let you know later how all that goes. 

Caught in the Snares

So first of all, that whole "frustrated" issue from the other day has still been bothering me. I'm starting to feel like "Hey maybe I'm not really needed on the field now that ALL these other sisters are up and getting ready to go too." I know that's not the right attitude, but I've been thinking "Oh someone else (who is probably more qualified) will do the work, so why should I try?" 

But I was studying on a few tangents of thought this morning, and eventually came across a scripture in Alma 12 that sort of struck home for me on the subject of my "frustrations". In verse 6 and later 11 it reads, "And behold I say unto you all that this was a snare of the adversary, which he has laid to catch this people, that he might bring you into subjection unto him, that he might encircle you about with his chains, that he might chain you down to everlasting destruction, according to the power of his captivity... And they that will harden their hearts, to them is given the lesser portion of the word until they know nothing concerning his mysteries; and then they are taken captive by the devil, and led by his will down to destruction..." So translation: Satan (darkness) very subtly creeps up into our lives, and if ignored or let to continue, that darkness will take over and have much greater power over us to lead us down. 

It makes me think of that analogy of Satan's power as a thread - wrapped around once, it's easy to break, but wrapped again and again, it gets harder and harder until we feel we have no more strength to break free of that darkness (but we are always given a way to break free, as hard as it may be!). Satan seems to slowly pull me down by negative thoughts about my potential and purpose in the world. But I know that my life has great potential and purpose. And I know that as I realize my adversaries (which tend to be my very own negative thoughts), and remember the great love of my Heavenly Father, I will have greater power to withstand the snares of those adversaries.

No More Fence Sitting

Thursday night, I was over watching the vice-presidential debate at a friend's apartment with about a dozen or so other people. We had fun watching, talking, eating pizza, and playing "shots" (of apple-juice, sunny-D, and soda) whenever one of the VP's would mention certain topics. During the debate, I felt like I had a hard time really hearing what he had to say when all I could see and hear around me were the shaking of heads and words of dis-approvement to Biddin from all the people around me. I'm sure if I was in a room full of Obama/Biddin-supporters it would have been the same thing only the other way around though.

It makes me realize though, republicans and democrats seem to be not all that different from each other. Just like in an intense football game; for every die-hard "Beaver" fan out there, there's an equal and opposite "Duck" fan too. And yet there are also people like me who, unless it became truly necessary, wouldn't care about which side I'm on. I think this is often a way some people view religion. Not picking one faith or the other not because there isn't a truer faith, but because they are not compelled to care. OR simply picking one church or another because that's what's easiest and there's no reason to get up and really see if that's they really believe.

It's time to stop being a fence sitter. Just like I do with my faith, I need to study and think about and understand the world of politics better. I need to come to my own conclusion of what I really believe to be the best things for this country to do. I want to hear and learn about the various parties, and then once well informed, decide which party is right for me.

On the religious parallel of this (although religion and politics have a lot ), that's one of my goals as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; to inform the people about the gospel, to help them hop off that fence and make a stand for what is right. I'm glad that I have been able to make a stand in my faith. I know what I believe to be true, and I hope I can help others come to that knowledge too. 

Ask the Missionaries, They Can Help!

Review: Here's a great talk I heard on Saturday morning about missionaries and their work. I may add commentary later, but as it is very late and I need to get to sleep soon (after I finish reading marking 100 pages in a book), I shall forgo that motion at the moment. So watch the clip above, it's a great talk :)

Frustrated

As you could probably guess, that change of policy for missionary age-minimums was a HUGE hype at BYU-Idaho today. We talked about it during math-tutoring, in my science class, during lunch, English class AND Religion. Mostly we talked about how it might change people's life plans as a whole. We also talked about the pros and cons of it all. It is REALLY neat that everyone has the opportunity to serve earlier, and I'm glad that everyone's excited for it, but I want to see this excitement endure. I'm a little frustrated (though I probably shouldn't be) that all of a sudden ALL these girls are planning to go on missions too, they're up and ready to go whenever... now that it's not as much of a sacrifice. Now I'm going at 21 and all of them at 19, and I feel like they get to come back and be on the same page as all their friends. Not me. I'll come back and most of my friends will be gone and married, starting families of their own. I'm going to have to start all over with new peers. That scares me, a lot. It just doesn't seem fair that they get to go without having to give all that up now. But life isn't meant to be fair. I know it will all be alright it in the end. It's just hard sometimes.

General Conference Weekend!

It's General Conference time again! There's a few reasons that I love this semi-annual event.

For one, this time, I get to come down to my sister Leisha's house in Utah and visit her family here.  I've already had a manicure AND makeover by my one- and two-year-old nieces. I wiped all the purple eye-shadow off my face, but my nails are still a crumbly, blotchy teal-blue :) Leisha cut my hair yesterday! I'm SO grateful to have the ends cleared and some semi-short hair again! Overall, it's just been really nice to be around family. We have some good times, and I just like the familiarity of it all, it's refreshing :)

And for two this weekend, I get to hear the word of God spoken to me. Maybe that doesn't sound like such a big deal...but it is such a big deal! I get to hear what the Lord wants of me, how I can refocus my life and do better to find greater joy in my life. Here's a few things I'm now challenging myself based on some of the words I've heard so far:

- I'll be PROUD to be a Mormon. I'll know the gospel. I'll live it. I'll love it. (Ann M. Dibb)
- I will follow God's plan for me! (song)
- I am going to spend more meaningful time with the people I love (Deiter F. Uchtdorf)
- I'll become the sort of person that I know I can become (Deiter F. Uchtdorf)
- I'll find happiness in small moments, regardless of my circumstances (Deiter F. Uchtdorf)
- I'll ask Heavenly Father each day for opportunities to help someone in need.
- I'm going to study the Book of Mormon more diligently, seeking for guidance in my life (Larry Echo Hawkes)
- I'll pray always in my heart and remember that the Lord always answers. (Henry B. Eyring)
- I will be a light to the world. (Boyd K. Packer)
- I'll "first observe, then serve" even when it's not convenient to me (Linda K. Burton)
- I'm going to take time to be still and remember the Lord's hand in my life (Walter F. Gonzalez)
- I will utilize my life to show how much I love the Lord (Jeffry R. Holland)
- I will take a better inventory of my life - taking care to record the blessings, large and small, that I receive each day (Thomas S. Monson)

The Race is On!

So today at General Conference the Prophet spoke and told of a change in church policy on account of age-limit for missionaries. Guys can now leave for their missions at age 18, and girls can leave once their 19! Before, it was 19 for guys, and 21 for girls as far as the earliest time that we could leave.

I'm probably not going to change much in my plans, I can't leave much sooner than my 21st birthday (February 16th! :), BUT my little sister, Olivia, who's currently 19 can TOTally go if she wants to. So now we're making it a race. There's a whole list of things both of us need to do in order to be ready to turn in our mission application papers and be prepared in all the aspects for a mission. First step, wisdom teeth. :)

Not Commanded

"Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness."
- Doctrine and Covenants 58:27

I was over at a game night the other night (playing Mafia), and between games I got to talking about going on the mission next year. One friend, Cameron, told me this little shpeel that he tells girls who are preparing for missions (one of them, a mutual friend of ours, Mary, ended up getting married last semester).  He said something like, "It's great for girls to go on missions, but it's not a duty or commandment for you to go." He went on to say that I shouldn't allow my determination of a mission block out or harden my heart to hearing out any other directions that the Lord might have store for my life. And he's right, I do need to keep an open mind to wherever I may be called to in life.

Maybe I am meant to continue my education, maybe I'm meant to find that perfect man and  marry him. There wouldn't really be much wrong with going in those directions (if I feel right about them). And one day I will finish my bachelor's degree, and one day I will become a wife and mother. But right now I really feel like the best thing I can do is to be anxiously engaged in the physical, mental, social and spiritual preparations it takes to be ready for a mission. 

Math Tutoring - Seeing Light Come to Their Eyes

I'm a math tutor at school, and one of my favorite things about the job is seeing the light come to the students' eyes as they come to understand a concept we've been going through. I want to see that same understanding come to the eyes of those I teach the gospel. Because as wonderful as the concepts of angle-bisectors and compound-interest-rate are, the principles of the gospel are of that much greater worth to me, and they change lives to a much higher extent. I want people to see what I see and feel that joy and hope and change of heart that brings so many blessings of good to their lives. Okay, the Lord loves His people (everybody) so much, and I know there are people out there who are going through extreme hardships and struggles in their lives. I also know that the gospel brings so much hope and light and help to those who will hold on to it. I want to share it. I want people to know for themselves too.

What IS a Mission?

First, for all of you who have NO idea what a "mission" is, here's a quick rundown:

For one and a half years, I will commit to serving the Lord by helping His people (everyone) to come closer to Him. I'll do this by teaching, preaching, serving and doing what I can to help others really see what it means to be a disciple of Christ. This is all much easier said than done. But I'll explain that more as time goes on :)